My Lamentations

"...When laughter first manifests itself in the infant, it is an incipient cry...What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?" -Soren Kierkegaard

It takes a little time sometimes...

Have you ever trusted someone with something so special and then got it back ruined?  That is a bad feeling huh!  I trusted someone like that before, and it was pretty desasterous.  I trusted someone with the most precious thing I had.  My heart.  Now this is a past experience and I have a reason for bringing it up.  I have a hard time trusting anyone because of this relationship I was in almost 6 months ago.  I did something I should have never done.  Trust a human being completely.  Let me tell you that this is a bad idea because you will be disappointed.  I know this for a fact.  Remember last time I told you that God was teaching me some things these last couple of weeks.  God has been telling me to trust him completely.  That is very dificult for me to do because, this is going to sound bad, but I have a hard time completely trusting in anyone.  This is especially hard when you consider that you are trusting someone who doesn't audibly talk to me, and I can't physically see.  He took and slammed this idea of completely trusting in Him and all I could think was, "No! Everytime I trust You completely something bad happens to me."  A couple of days later it clicked.  Those times that something bad had happened to me I wasn't trusting Him completely.  When I did I always seemed to have this agenda that I thought He would follow.  That is something you can not do with God.  Have an agenda because I'm pretty sure God likes to change our agendas!  That is just one of the major lessons that are being pounded into my skull these past couple of weeks.  That is my lament for the day.  I will blog again tomorrow and Sunday.  Then I'll give you a heads up about the next few weeks. Until then

theweeper

posted by: theweeper at May 05, 2006 19:33 | link | comments (2) |