My Lamentations

"...When laughter first manifests itself in the infant, it is an incipient cry...What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?" -Soren Kierkegaard

A Journey of a Thousand Miles

              "I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived" --Anna Louise Strong.

I have been on a journey of a thousand miles that started last summer with a radical God and a radical plan.  I used to believe in a form of grace which mis-represented a God of love as a God who wouldn't leave me to believe in that false grace.  He took from me one of my closest friends and in doing so taught me what true grace is and how to walk in it.  I thought my journey was done, however, God had other plans.  He then began to test my faith in regards to walking in grace.  This semeseter I am now being faced by another growth period in which God is teaching me how to live in grace.  The main verse I have found during this period is John 1:4 which says, "In Him was life, and that life was the light of men".  This has been what I have meditated on the last several days as I have been struggling with the loss of my best friend.  The loss of my best friend is part of God's teaching tool since she was my main support and her encouragement and help prevented me from taking the fall that God wanted me to take.  This journey, which I had thought I was done taking months ago, has continued down a path that I don't enjoy taking.  Yet, in the midst of my suffering I have a strange peace as God promises to take care of me.  The only regret that I have is the loss of my friend.  God forgive me for not realizing where my journey was taking me and for the pain caused to me and others because of it.

posted by: theweeper at May 04, 2007 15:02 | link | comments |