My Lamentations

"...When laughter first manifests itself in the infant, it is an incipient cry...What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?" -Soren Kierkegaard

A good Reputation. . .

Is very important to me.  I don't really know why, but I just care a lot about what people think about me.  The Bible even talks a little about reputations.  Proverbs 22:1 says, "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold (KJV)".  The reason I am writing about this is because of a mistake I made a year ago.  I was pursuing a young lady and in doing so I became controlling and just a plain jerk.  Well, that relationship didn't work out and now I am in a blooming relationship with a wonderful young woman.  However, just as in all relationships, there are misconceptions and misunderstandings that have caused some problems lately.  When my girlfriend, Becka, was struggling with being lonely due to my packed schedule, she happened to mention to a concerned friend what was wrong.  This turned into a huge discussion invovling many people, most who barely know me and never talk to me.  The outcome was that all but one said something about me that was true a year ago, but now is not a part of my life.  They all have a bad opinion of me now.  Frankly I don't blame them.  I just wish those who don't know me, and have only heard the rumors of what I was would take the time to get to know me and see exactly who I am now.  It is funny becuase I am exactly the opposite of these accustations, not just according to me but according to those who have taken the time to get to know me.  I guess the most insulting thing about it is those who claim to be my friends to my face, and ask me for favors, which I do gladly, and later on slam my character in front of others who don't know me and thus further ruin what little character I have in their eyes.  It is interesting how many people seem to have a bad opinion of me.  It kind of reminds me of King David.  In the Bible he often cries out to God asking Him to help him becuase of people who are seeking to ruin his reputation and take all he has.  Now I am not saying that I am equal to King David.  He is a much better man than I will ever be.  Yet, I know now how it feels to find those who secretly don't like you and don't hesitate to tell others when the time comes.  I know all I can do is pray for these people, and seek to understand why they say these things, respect their opinions, and not follow their example on judging people without getting to know them first. 

theweeper 

posted by: theweeper at December 16, 2007 00:33 | link | comments |